Why I Am Not Religious

I find all religious systems objectionable. There's no convincing proof and the closer you examine their historical roots, the more obvious their human concoction becomes.

I suspect we humans made all the religions up because life has three unavoidable aspects that just, well... suck. These three things are the S.U.M. of human unhappiness:

Suffering

Into a every life a little shit must fall. Maybe you'll get a little, maybe a lot. Some people drown in it. Whatever the case, it will happen. You will suffer.

Uncertainty

You don't know what's going to hit you next. You never will, and there's not a thing you can do about it. Life is full of surprises, they say, and most surprises are bad.

Mortality

Even if you do manage a relatively pain-free life, with a minimum of bad surprises, in the end you get the same parting gift as the rest of us: You get to die. In fact, there's a high likelihood that your death will be preceded by years of physical and mental decay.

Now, keep the S.U.M. in mind and check out the world's religions, past and present. Notice how they seem tailor-made to counter the despair of the three things listed above? This is no accident.

Suffering? Sure, you'll suffer - but it's okay. There's a reason. And Something knows the reason and keeps a handle on it.

Uncertainty? Yes, there is uncertainty - but it's okay, because Something knows what's going on, and what is to come.

Mortality? Well, you are mortal - but it's okay, because Something will not let you just cease to be. Oh no, there's more to come...

We are unhappy and we want to be happy. So we invent ways to make ourselves happy and soothe our troubled minds. That's it, folks. From a caveman invoking the spirit of the saber-toothed tiger for a good hunt, to the most intellectually sophisticated modern theologian taking existential comfort from an abstracted Creator, that's all religion is: people telling themselves, "It's not as bad as it seems."